“Bring your hand and put
it into my side.”
Jesus had many wounds from
His crucifixion. The wounds from the nails in His hands and His feet; the
wounds on His head from the crown of thorns; the wounds on His back from the
scourging; the wound on His shoulder from carrying the weight of the heavy,
wooden cross.
But of all of these
wounds, Jesus invites Thomas to touch the wound on the side. This was the wound
where the Roman soldier, the centurion, had thrust a lance through skin and rib
and into the very heart of Jesus, from which poured forth blood and water.
On this day, a week after
His resurrection, Jesus invites the doubting, and even cynical, Thomas to place
his finger where the lance went through – not simply to touch the outer flap of
skin, but to put his finger “into…”
Into what?
Thomas’ expression tells
us – he cries out, “My Lord and my God!” –Thomas has touched the heart. A
beating heart. Jesus’ heart! He is alive! And it shocks Thomas. Wouldn’t you be
shocked if someone who you thought was dead has a heart beat that you can touch?
From this moment, Thomas
believes. His heart is changed.
In a way, we can say that when
Thomas touches Jesus’ heart, it is really Jesus
who touches Thomas’ heart. Thomas’ heart was cold and dead because of doubt and
cynicism. But when Jesus touches Thomas’ heart, his heart becomes is afire with
love. Thomas’ faith has been resurrected.
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This past week, our holy
father, Pope Francis, the successor of Peter and shepherd of the flock, has
died and gone to meet our heavenly Father.
His passing afforded me
some time to reflect about Pope Francis’ reign, which is called his “pontificate.”
On the one hand, I have
very much applauded the Pope for reminding all the world about the dignity of
the human person, about our need to walk with all people, and about how every
person is not a problem to solve, but a soul with hearts that we must love – whether
friend or enemy, people with whom we agree or disagree.
Additionally, many on the “inside”
have spoken about Pope Francis’ deep prayer life and his private works of
charity. In these ways, the holy father offered us a chance to be closer to
Jesus and the Gospel. Many have come back to the faith because of him and
grieve his passing. This is wonderful and I praise God for it.
At the same time, I have also
struggled with the Pope’s weaknesses. Even though many in his inner circle have
insisted that the Pope had no intentions on changing Church teaching (which he
couldn’t do anyway), and while he was motivated by genuine love of bringing
people on the peripheries back to the faith (which I applaud), the Pope was
often unclear in what he said. And his lack of clarity often sowed confusion.
When he was clear, his tone was often frank and
severe, the most choleric of words being saved for his priests – priests who often
found themselves tasked with cleaning up the messes caused by his lack of
clarity. This sowed some resentment in his priests, especially those who have
trying to be faithful during a time of decadence and scandal.
While Pope Francis often
emphasized the need to welcome others and not to judge, I found him very
judgmental towards those who were trying to have larger families, or worshipping
in more historical (or one may say traditional)
ways, or fighting against secularism in sacrificial lives – all of which we as
Catholics are called to do.
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This admixture of good and
bad in a Pope caused me some discomfort in the past decade. I saw enemies of
the Church exploiting the confusion; I saw some good Catholics falling away;
and I saw some lukewarm Catholics reaffirmed in their lukewarmness.
During my moments of
reflection this week, I have found a clear connection to Saint Thomas whom we
just heard about. The temptation for any of us is like that of Saint Thomas: to
just not care about any of it, to grow in cynicism, resentment, doubt, lack of
charity and courtesy. In short: the temptation for any of us at any given time
is to lose our heart.
Thomas needed to touch the
heart of Jesus because he himself had lost his heart.
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When Pope John Paul II
died back in 2005, I wept. I genuinely loved the man. And I could not speak
enough good things about him. I had a great heart for him. I fully believed he had a great
heart. I am sure there are many who feel the same way about Pope Francis. As we
all should.
It is okay to not like
certain leadership styles or to bristle at confusing ways of expression. That’s
fine. What is not fine is when we become uncharitable. Whether it is the pope
or a pastor, a principal or a teacher, a coworker or a family member or a
neighbor or a stranger, we are all called to be gentle and kind and courteous
and charitable, to give all a generous belief in having a good heart.
Trolling on the internet,
gossip, manipulation, complaining to others, and that voyeuristic curiosity that
leads to doom-scrolling instead of prayer – these actions not only turn us into a
Thomas who may lose his heart. These are
signs that we already have!
This is why Jesus came to
Thomas today. It is why Jesus comes to you and me today. If you have an issue
with someone, if your faith in the goodness of another has been damaged, you need
to put your hand into Jesus’ side. Put your complaint there. He is asking you
to touch His heart. Tell Him what bothers you; pray to Him about the one you
disagree with. Let Him resurrection your faith; and your hope; and your love.
Like Thomas, we must place
our hand into Jesus’ heart. In doing so, we will rediscover our own.
In the Name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Thank you, Father Gerber! I needed to hear this.
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